Immortals Review

Immortals – November 11

Setting: First, there was the 10 year long War of the Titans fought in Thessaly between the the Titans, based on Mount Othrys and the Olympians, who would come to reign on Mount Olympus. The Titanomachia is also known as the Battle of the Titans, Battle of Gods, or just The Titan War and occurred long before the existence of mankind.
Long after the Titanomachy, the Titan Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) declares war on humanity. BAH! He searches for the Epirus Bow, a legendary weapon created by the war god Ares, which will allow him to free the rest of the Titans from Tartarus and take revenge on the Olympians who brought about their downfall. In accordance with ancient laws, the gods (who probably were the ones who wrote the damn laws in the first place… they’re just too damn lazy to help out! …. or maybe they’re itching for one more fight with the Titans just to kick some more celestial butt!) are unable to take a side in the war between Hyperion and humanity. It is left to a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill), chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) and accompanied by the priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto) and a slave (Stephen Dorff), to protect his homeland and save the gods.

Immortals is “loosely” (means the directors and writers capitalized on their god given right called “artistic license and interpretation” to do whatever the hell they wanted) based on the Greek myth of Theseus and the Minotaur and the Titanomachy. So, you’d best brush up on your Greek mythology before seeing this. … No, not Norse mythology with Thor, Greek you idiot! Greek! With Zeus, Hera, Mercury, Hercules… Wonder Woman’s mother Hypolitta and the Amazons. Thor was Norse mythos with Odin and… Captain America and Namor. Come on! Get your mythologies right.

• The film was directed by Tarsem Singh
• Starring Henry Cavill, who will be playing Superman/Clark Kent in Man of Steel in 1012 and who also played The Hunter in Red Riding Hood.
• Freida Pinto, who is also in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
• and Mickey Rourke who played Ivan Vanko / Whiplash in Iron Man 2, Randy ‘The Ram’ Robinson in The Wrestler, and Marv in Sin City